mmMMMMMMmmmmmMMMONSTER KILL!!!!

Well, well, well... What can i say? I guess the receipt on the left speaks for itself. $357.60. What better way to celebrate the return of our Aussie dudes Les n JM than to break SHATTER the previous Europa record?

JM to Les:'Yeah Les, that's what we came back to do! Dota, Europa, shopping and CHIONG!WARGHHHH!'

It was a good night where we enjoyed ourselves and had a lot of catching up to do... In the end, the 11 jugs of beer took its toll and most were pretty high haha.. Meanwhile, on another part of the island, we've got 3 fine young men in NUS sports camp enjoying themselves on a sight-seeing tour!!! Yes, you're absolutely right... they're looking to expand Club SAGGF. Pretty soon, you'll find that Club Zot Ggi would have trouble recruiting members and Club SAGGF would be infested with more than a handful of Pretty Hate Machines...

I guess most of us will be looking forward to the next few weeks where we'll meet up more than ever to eat, shop, soccer etc... Not forgetting our chalet, of course.. SONG BO! :)
(P.S. JM buay steady la.. after europa never come online to dota... lol)
Editor's note: within 5 minutes of this post, JM came online!
cRash: lau
cRash: i steady
cRash: i come TO DOTA!!
3 cheers for JM!

10 Minutes of Madness!

Team /S 4 (Navin, Kingyau, Kingyau, Yuda) Team Korea 6

One of the matches which Team /S experienced difficulties in finding 11 players evolved from a fairy tale into a Korean Horror Flick. And for those of you that are wondering why there are so many Koreans in Singapore....they ARE the SAME Koreans we lost to. Playing on the same pitch.

Team /S started the game well with Hanwei and Titts denying their deadly long ball tactics and the first goal came from an unlikely source, the 1st Indian ever to play for Team /S, NAVIN. Navin could feel Lester's spirit inside him as he turned a cross into a Goal~ A cross from the left flank hit the base of the far post and rolled into the goal. Quite yucky for a goal seriously lol. 1-0! The Koreans came back strong as their pacy striker latched onto a through ball to put it into the net. 1-1! But of course, with Kingyau in your team, you know the scoreline is never final till he puts his name on the scoresheet. A cross from Chow was perfectly flicked into the goal by Mr Kingyau once again to put /S in front again! 2-1! Half-Time and Team /S is en route to achieve their revenge!

Despite leading 2-1, Team /S continued to pile on the pressure as always by constantly attacking! An error by the Korean defence as they mishandled a bouncing ball in the 6-yard area gave the Fox in the Box yet another chance and he made no mistakes in slotting the ball into the net! 3-1! Team /S' hatred to defend saw them keeping their attacking style and the Koreans seem to be crumbling down. A trademark 'Jiu Hao' run from the midfield in a counter-attack saw Yuda break the defence and a 1 on 1 opportunity with the GK but only to scuff the DAMN FREAKING SHOT. Immediately after that, Team /S won a lose ball and ky threaded the ball to an already freaking pissed off Yuda and the ball was blasted into the goal from the edge of the penalty area. A satanic shot? but an even more satanic miss T_T. 4-1! Total ownage? Not yet. A controversial handball called by the referee gave the Koreans a penalty. 4-2! /S still in the driving seat. This is the turning point. The 10 minutes of Madness! A lobbing shot from the Koreans was spilled by Kerk into the Goal. 4-3! With Team /S still choosing to attack, the Koreans made used of their pacy striker to good effect as every counter attack went through him. Hanwei could only force the striker into a tight angle but it wasn't enough. A shot from a tight angle slipped past an already distraught Kerk to make it 4-4! As if losing the lead to make it a draw wasn't bad enough, a similar run from the Korean striker and a similar shot found the net once again from a similar angle! 4-5! What a Trauma! And the Koreans just took advantage of the change in tide to convert a cross into the net once again. 4-6. WHAT THE F**K.

We can only learn from this........

Gosu Picture

The weekend has arrived! That can only mean another /S soccer match!However, the team is missing several key personnel.. including our solid defender John a.k.a Beer Monster who went taiwan in the hunt for cheaper beer and our Tauren Chieftain(pictured right with his unique hairstyle)... is he really spending his sunday with his family? or is he waiting to get fragged by another pretty hate machine? Well, I'll leave that to the /S Tabloid paparazzis to check out on our very own Gabriel Batistutaozhi...
Once again at press time we seem to be short of strikers.In fact, we have only TEN players at the moment...but that's normal.We usually get enough players at the last minute..
It has to be noted that the game will be played at Marina Pitch 1.It has been raining the past few days so do not wear white socks and be prepared for puddles everywhere.Foong, don't sprint so much..you won't be as pacy in wet conditions..although he claims to be so fast he can 'shui shang piao'(float on water). And yes, it was where /S had been humiliated by the Lao-Jiao-American-Football-Playing-Koreans.

LJAFPK:'Hey, how old are you guys?'
/S:'Around 20.'
LJAFPK:'ohhhh ok... i'm 50.'

Like, THANKS for rubbing salt into the wounds, dude.
Someday, just someday, we'll kick ya ass.Just like how we would kick Techwood's ass if we meet again.Anyways, all the best on maintaining our unbeaten streak!4 matches!

Soccer Update!(yuda arrow one)
MoM goes to ky
Team /S Wins 6 Draws 2 Losses 4 GF 33 GA 23

Kingyau Goals 10 MoM 4
Francis Goals 4 MoM 2
Yuda Goals 4 MoM 1
Kenny Goals 2 MoM 1
John Goals 1 MoM 1
Kerk Goals 1 MoM 1
Travers Goals 3
Foong Goals 2
Buck Goals 1
Junyi Goals 1
Vincent Goals 1
Choo Goals 1
Shaun Goals 1
Titts Goals 1
Aozhi MoM 1
Junxiang MoM 1

The PROPHECY!

Year 50,000 BC:
1. Lok Tar owned the land.
2. Spirit Breakers owned Trolls.
3. Everyone else were considered ZOT GGI.
4. Tauren Chieftain OWNED by Pretty Hate Machine!

Year 2005 AD:
1. Lok Tar owned the land once again.
2. Spirit Breakers owned Trolls.
3. Everyone else were considered ZOT GGI (some GL HF).
4. WHICH PRETTY HATE MACHINE HAS THE ABILITY TO OWN OUR CHIEFTAIN??

Stay Tuned...

the tiger and the mud...

Following his excellent volley using a deft touch, /S Tabloid can't help
but dig deep into their archives to bring to you this priceless article
about the early days of Kerk in action.It all started when he fell into
the magic mud in ACS(I)...he gained unbelievable magic powers and
scored 6 goals(including THAT volley which secured the win for the All
Stars) right after he washed his shirt in the toilet.. the rest, as
they say, is history..

'He has not bathed since then..' one of his earliest articles..(right click to see bigger version)

When the tiger's tongue got stuck.

Team /S 3 (Kingyau, Kerk, Travers Dad aka Buck) Referee 3

So battered from soccer and Europa.....Kingyau refuses to do the match report....T_T. One of the most bad mannered teams ever. At 1720hrs, they only had 8 players and so we started the game 9-a-side with our latest signing playing for our opponents first.

Team /S opened the scoring with a swift attack down the right flank by Yuda who found ky at the far post with a high cross. And yes, once again ky scores with God knows which part of his leg but it's a GOAL! Yuda "Stop scoring la ky...." Not long after, a high ball into our penalty area was mishandled by the gk who falls to the ground looking to the referee for the whistle but it never came......and it's.....a......goal.......(South American Commentary). But as always, Team /S' fighting spirit never dies. A low cross from the touchline by Yuda finds KERK who volleys it first time right in front of the goal mouth!!! Everyone in /S is getting their names on the scoresheet!!! 2-1!!! However, our lead was shortlived. Another high ball into our penalty area was attended to by our gk and the whistle blows....not for a freekick....but a Penalty....WTF man seriously this referee.... if u believe in miracles...it didn't happen for us...2-2 at half-time.

The second half begins. Despite the better football played by Team /S, the opposition found a goal from a loose ball at the edge of the penalty box and with a low shot went through every single player including the gk, finding the back of the net. Team /S is trailing 3-2! Team /S found the equaliser from a freekick move. A cross from Yuda from the right missed every single player in the danger area to find Buck who slots the ball coolly into the back of the net! Debut Goal! 3-3! Team /S made countless counter attacks with many good scoring oppourtunities but failed to find the winning goal as Yuda once again misses loads of chances. 3-3 was how it ended.....Congrats to Kerk for his first goal.....Good performance from the team but an even better performance from the referee.

"I have nothing to say....I've lost to a referee but i am still the ONE" Jose Moaningho.

BREAKING NEWS!!

Just when you thought that reaching 2 milestones last week wasn't
amazing enough, Team /S has already reached another one this week without
even kicking a ball!We are glad to have a guest player with us this
week.. Uncle Tan.'Who is he?' you may ask. He is none other than the
father of our most calm and composed player, Travers.This means that
for the first time in our history, we have a father and a son playing
in our team.(Previously, the closest we had was 2 brothers playing in
the same team, namely Chenghui and Junyi)
We have invited Samy Best here to give us an insight about the addition of this guest player.

Old is Gold.

/ST:'Is he good enough for the team?'
SB:'Of course lah.Most lao jiaos
would be a burden to the team but in
his case, it's definitely a matter of 'Old is Gold'.It is said he
clocked 9.45minutes for the 2.4km run when he was 40.That would make
many a NS kia blush.Uncle Tan will bring along with him many, many years of invaluable experience.He will also stabilise the defence with his reading of the game.'

So is /S gonna record their 3rd straight win (a.k.a killing spree)?Maybe a 2nd clean sheet in a row?Watch this space...

PS:
Lester, by the time you read this, you'd have finished your last paper.. BOOOOORRRNNN FRRRREEEEEeeeEEEeeeeee!!

/S Soccer Update!

MoM goes to Kingyau omg......

Team /S Wins 6 Draws 1 Losses 4 GF 30 GA 20

Kingyau Goals 9 MoM 3
Francis Goals 4 MoM 2
Yuda Goals 4 MoM 1
Kenny Goals 2 MoM 1
John Goals 1 MoM 1
Travers Goals 3
Foong Goals 2
Junyi Goals 1
Vincent Goals 1
Choo Goals 1
Shaun Goals 1
Titts Goals 1
Aozhi MoM 1
Kerk MoM 1
Junxiang MoM 1

No Match Preview!!!

Team /S has decided that the Europa pre-match ritual was getting
stale.Hence, we went SENTOSA!!! How exciting right? Healthy lifestyle!
No beer! We played so much volleyball until we forgot about our lunch
lol.Oh, we also can't DIG the volleyball for nuts.Anyways, ALL THE BEST
for the game tom! 5pm game leh.. Don't play play..Here are some pictures of the outing...

The guys who missed out on the floaty fun...

The guys who enjoyed the super relaxing floaty! (Contrary to popular belief, not everyone pictured here is part of Club GLHF)

Capitan Fantabulous and his Great Challenge.

today's the day.. can captain fantabulous add a driving license to his already fantastic coaching credentials? look at him... so comfy in the car of MY dreams!!! omg... he fits in there perfectly.. and who's that mystery girl next to him??? there's no telling who might that be!!! maybe he'll frag her with "hey.. i've got a car.. so i'm cool.." only time will tell.. only time will tell... =) no more ks plz =) oh well.. all the best.. keke

New Europa RECORD!!

alrite.. our latest record breaking reciept from our lifely place called EUROPA~ lol.. the Gods must be smiling on them to have us as their faithful clients.. lol... pls note. the beer record is 9 jugs.. for this visit we only had 6.. and yet we still eclipsed the spending record... the 7 orders of buffalo wings ultimately played it's part in the end. "it's the little things added up that makes a big difference..."
anyways, we just got back from another gay drinking session.. but this time it's from a grimy kopi tiam down at bugis.. lol... i would just like to say that it's not that i hate ppl who smoke, drink or have tattoos... i know that our society is such and it's common to many... but i would leave it to personal preference... some may say that it's normal and ok.. but well, i've been brought up in a family which discredits such behaviours and habits.. therefore i already have this mindset of what is good/bad in our current society. so please don't think that i'm out to hate you or suan u or anything. what i say may not be what u think is right at times, and i may come across as pushy and demanding, unaccepting of certain behaviours and habits, but well, if i bother to tell u to curb a habit... it shows that at least i think there's hope for u and i know it's ultimately hazardous to ur health... oh well to listen or not is up to you guys... i'm no saint. i'm no patron of good behaviour. i'm no angel. but i'm just trying to be a good fren.
cheers and live life to the fullest. yet live it with limits.
don't know if i'm making sense.. my brain isn't really processing anything now.. stoning... lol =)

these pics r supposed to be browsed from bottom up thx lol. And u have the answer to who's the white cap! 

Ky must be stalking me T_T 

No comments T_T 

Clean sheet....clean sheet.....this time confirm can..... 

Foong pls learn from this. Our latest foreign signing! 

Titts why always dun wanna pass to me....haiz.... 

Guess who's the new player with the white cap?  

Operation: Clean Sheet

Today, /S Tabloid exclusively brings to you the extraordinary tale of /S's quest to keep a first ever clean sheet.

It all began on Saturday.Team /S assembled at Marina South on time.We then saw what seemed like our opponents.Some of them had tattoos while others had dyed hair.Foong:'Wah jap opponents, siao liao siao liao.' Ky:'Aiyah scared what?You want Kim Moh we also have, you want tattoo we also have.' It turns out that 3 teams were fighting to play on 1 pitch.WTH.Good mannered /S decided to let the other 2 teams play.(they turned out to be zhong guo ren) Foong:'I hope the ref whole family die ah!' That pretty much summed up the mood of /S after a soccer-less saturday.Operation:Clean Sheet had to be delayed again.Is Kerk ever destined to play striker for /S?Will the Tiger ever be unleashed?

To feed our weekly craving of a soccer match, Captain Yuda arranged a game to be played on the next day.Problems arose, of course.Star left-back Seah and Star Targetman Aozhi could not make it for the game.Neither could PTE Kelvin nor foreign-talent Raymond.Alas, when there's a will, there's a way.In came Choo as keeper, Alvin as right-back,Renjian as Left-back, Navin as Left mid and our 1st ever Korean import, Hanwei.To our surprise, Raymond was our opponent for the day and a few of our opponents had 'raped' us in street soccer a few nights before.Foong:'Wah GG, they raped us in street soccer!'

Star striker Kerk finally made his debut as striker and in his first touch straight after kick-off he tripped on yuda's pass to alvin.That was damn pai seh lar.Due to unforeseen circumstances, /S had to start the game with 10 men.Team SAGCS made full use of this advantage and attacked like siao.The Hanwei-John partnership proved to be a success as they seemed to be the only ones keeping us in the game.Foong and Ky admitted afterwards they feared the worse.Will today be our day?Can we actually win, let alone get our dream clean sheet?

All doubts were cast aside when Foong scored (or when Navin arrived, depending on which incident you actually saw).Foong's incredible dream came true..He let off a trademark Warcry in his celebrations. :-)

Foong before the game:'Last night I dreamt I scored!Left foot somemore!' /S:'Suck it lah'

/S added 2 more goals and survived the tense moments just before the final whistle.Our dream had become reality./S won twice in a row and kept a clean sheet for the 1st time.We had finally accomplished what was thought the impossible.Operation: Clean Sheet was a success.A job well done guys.Let's make keeping a clean sheet the aim before every game.John:'Wah damn stress ah.'

Now that a fairy tale has finally come true, whether another fairy tale comes true remains to be seen.Yes, it's the Europa fairytale between our 'gorgeous' Foong and his target(s).Stay tuned to find out!

Foong at europa.(notice the similarities between the 2 pics ;-) )

The Prophecy is BROKEN!!

Kerk mesmerizing the defence!!

Team /S 3 (Foong, Kingyau, Titts) Team SAGCS 0

For those of you guys out there that didn't know. We were supposed to play on Saturday but we got PLAYED OUT BY ZHONG GUO REN. They should be playing Yao Ming's game and not soccer -.- So everyone was pissed on Saturday and we arranged a match for the next day. And what a day it turned out to be!

Despite having a serious shortage of players, Team /S still managed to come up with the numbers but with the help of the never seen before player in Team /S, Han Wei. Korean ACJC Star Defender. (John: yes! no need to pair with titts!) Also, our team welfare manager Mr Chia Guo Foong ensured we had our pre-match rituals done. Record breaking bill at Europa on Saturday night! I'm sure all these contributed to the success of Team /S. (I think i shouldn't have said that) Oh no i'm suffering from the ploy syndrome!!!!!

And so we started the match in the worst possible way. Ky is recovering from fever, Navin isn't here yet, Jx is busy spotting the difference to win the contest and we're playing with one striker....KERK. So..we started with 10 man...and if u believe in prophecies, the last time we started with 10 man was against Techwood Utd. Our favourite match of all time. But we will not allow prophecies to scare us! Foong " oh shit they're damn gosu!" Our first goal came when Navin arrived and everyone was paying attention to Navin's entrance into the game. At this moment, half the team wasn't watching....so..... i stole the ball from 22 den i flick over the def den i shhoot!! GOAL!!!! FOONG SCORED!!! 1-0!
The opposition played a very unique defence with their keeper acting as a sweeper and ky took full advantage of this by shooting from range and catching the keeper off-guard! 2-0! When is he going to stop scoring? 2-0 was how it remained at Half-Time.

At the start of the 2nd half, Benitez decided to put in the trusted dietmar hamann (jx) in place of Luis Garcia (ky) in order to keep the CLEAN SHEET! As the 2nd Half progressed, a sweet passing move started from Kerk to Yuda to Titts who lobbed the ball steadily over the keeper all in 3 touches!!! SWEEEET!!! 3-0!! But unfortunately, soon after, our star striker Kerk suddenly had a tummy ache and ky came back into the game! 4-5-1! omg!!! The opponents are screwed!!! Team /S just kept attacking but to no avail. At the same time, the midfield was battling extremely hard to make sure we keep the CLEAN SHEET! Many biased decisions against us by the referee towards the end of the game gave our hopes some tremor but in the end.......all was well.......3-0! First Clean Sheet! And the poor Win-Lose-Win-Lose Form has been broken!!!! LETZ GO /S LETZ GO *CLAP* *CLAP*!!!

Match Preview: Team /S VS Team Unknown

Good evening folks.In this edition, we preview the match between Team /S and Team Unknown.Previously, Team /S played their best ever football and enjoyed most of the possession leading to their 3-1 win.Once again, Operation: Clean Sheet was delayed.We are pleased to have world renowned football pundit Shabbie Seng here to give us an insight into the game.

/ST:'Evening Shabbie.What's your take on tomorrow's game?'

SS:'I feel that it'll be a close game with very few chances for both teams.Concentration levels of the players have to be very,very high.Although football is very much a team game,I believe that the result would depend on moments of magic from certain players.'

/ST:'And who might these players be?'

SS:'i'm sure you know who I'm talking about.It's none other than Kerk.Operation:Clean Sheet is in his hands.Of course, a tight defence would ensure that Kerk's lightning-quick reflex saves need not be summoned.But when the need arises,you can put your trust on this lad.However, /S MUST deal with the hopeful long balls accordingly.'

PLAYER TO WATCH

Mr.Cool: Focusing on the task in hand (literally)

/ST:'There's a strong possibility that he might be deployed upfront.Your views?'

SS:'3 beautiful words: Goals,goals,goals.As we witnessed in the match against the 1st Team Grey when the TIGER is unleashed, he strikes fear into the opponents.His pace is lethal and his appetite for attacking will only torture the opponents into submission.'

When the TIGER is unleashed.'I've got THE POWER!'

/ST:'There's another interestng fact besides the lack of a clean sheet./S have never won 2 games in a row.How?'

SS:'Even better.Tomorrow can be the day where these 2 'curses' are exorcised.2 celebrations are definitely better than one.I can't wait for the game to start.'

How will /S fare without some of their foreign talents?Will Sexy Pitch 6 be /S's favourite hunting ground?Will Team Unknown come 45 minutes late(with the ref?!)?Most importantly, will the TIGER be unleashed?

TEAM /S DEDICATION:

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY JIARMING!!!

Although you're all alone in Sydney looking at 'local dishes' on your laptop, we haven't forgotten you!Have a very merry happy birthday!Looking forward to your return( les too :o) )!

Heeelllooooo hot mamas.'Am i sexy or am i sexy?'

Clan /S Soccer Update!

MoM will be the Man back from Japan! Junxiang!
From now on if there is a tie in votes the one who has less MoM awards will get it~
And guys.....i'm sure we can have more votes.....4 votes is quite gg......

Team /S Wins 5 Draws 1 Losses 4 GF 27 GA 20

Kingyau Goals 8 MoM 2
Francis Goals 4 MoM 2
Yuda Goals 4 MoM 1
Kenny Goals 2 MoM 1
John Goals 1 MoM 1
Travers Goals 3
Foong Goals 1
Junyi Goals 1
Vincent Goals 1
Choo Goals 1
Shawn Goals 1
Aozhi MoM 1
Kerk MoM 1
Junxiang MoM 1

Deja vu?

I've been asking myself these past few days... what's a tabloid without any contest? Here it is.. our very own /S Tabloid contest #1! Spot the difference!!! *gasps in awe*

Please submit all entries to Dennis (the tree in the 1st picture) by our next matchday (110605).1 lucky winner will get a chance to sit on the ball for 10 mins (yes, 10 whole minutes).

Note: Prize is kindly sponsored by ky.The judges' decision is final. Winners will be notified when they are notified.

PUBLIC WARNING!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an official warning being sent out! Please be noted that this man in the photo is on the loose and he is photographed at his last spotted area, Europa Bistro.

He is dangerous and armed with nothing but a hard-on and raging hormones. Please take special note if you happen to be wearing a blue hairband, officials have been tipped off that this man has been seeking a person wearing a blue hairband.

Please inform the officials if you spotted this guy hanging around your neighbourhood. And for ladies please do not wear a blue hairband for he will strike.

Additional Description: Ah beng face, Ah beng hair, Ah beng Dressing, Ah beng voice.

NOTE: Might have a hairy accomplice. Thank You and please heed this advice!
hurhur

Gosu 4-5-1!!

We're proud to bring to u /S MANUFACTURING CO. Every player produced by /S eats football and sleeps football and look at how they wear their boots and place their boots? INVINCIBLE /S MACHINES!!!!(FYI this pic is not posed)

Team /S 3 (Kingyau x 2, Yuda) Team Grey II 1

Ok with someone breathing down my neck trying to snatch my rice bowl, I better try to do something about it lolx.

Team /S’ new pre-match preparation…9 jugs of Tiger the night before the match seemed to enhance Team /S’ performance. Or could we have done better? As the pre-match preview had stated, this is the first time /S is having a striker crisis. But at the bottom of everyone’s heart….they know they still have a true striker in /S….he used to be called ‘Jiu Hao’! This time Team /S came up with an invincible strategy….a strategy that can fully utilize all the talents there is in /S….and yes….it is “4-5-1”! Due to the absence of the MAN, we have to use the ONE >.<

Team Grey II looked like a very good team made up of average aged skilful Malays! And once again Team /S went….oh shit….that’s our opponents. But as ky puts it, “It’s better to over-estimate the opponents then to underestimate them!” Words of inspiration from the rice bowl stealer lol.

And so we went into the match with 11 players! Team /S started extremely disciplined and organized on all areas of the pitch, hardly allowing Team Grey II to have any space to mess around. The first scoring opportunity bounced off the underside of the crossbar after ky put a low cross in towards a closely marked yuda who managed to get a flick on the cross but only to see his golden opportunity bounce off the woodwork. Bad omen for Team /S striker T_T. The first goal came from a freekick on the left flank, looks like it was going to be a cross but tricky ky decided to go for it and it paid off! Something only Laurent Robert would go for! 1-0! With Team /S still keeping their shape extremely well, ky once again made space for himself at the edge of the penalty box to put another shot pass the keeper! 2-0! What form this guy is enjoying! Half-Time remained 2-0.

During the break, everyone knew what they were not supposed to say. NO ONE IS TO SAY THE WORDS “CLEAN SHEET” cause the team captain is extremely superstitious lol. Indeed, there was no half-time team talk. Everyone knew what to do. The newly appointed striker also gave a heart to heart talk to our current on form midfielder ky, “Just play me the through balls….don’t bother where I am.”

In the early stages of the 2nd half, that was exactly what ky did. An ambitious through ball was run onto by yuda who finally managed to slot the ball pass the oncoming keeper! 3-0! Moments later, a similar through ball found yuda in yet another similar situation but this time he put the shot wide. In the midst of the game it was as if we could hear one another’s heart…clean sheet….this time sure can…..letz get the clean sheet! BUT ONCE AGAIN, a lobbing through ball got the better of the defence and with kerk staying on his line, the opposition’s first attempt at goal rebounded off kerk but they made no mistake in converting the parried shot! 3-1! If u guys haven’t noticed…..every goal we let in seemed to happen the same way…lobbing through ball….john chasing down the striker….striker gets the better of him….kerk left helpless…..Goal….Some things are just not meant to be…..and that’s the final score..3-1.

Nevertheless, it was one of the best performances by Team /S. Solid defence and plenty of scoring opportunities. This was the uncut version of Toeharee Paijand’s comment “'No striker? Just put yuda. Confirm outrun the whole team. But can he score?” He had so many chances he could actually do a double hat-trick T_T.

"If you're in the penalty area and don't know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we'll discuss the options later." Bob Paisley

MATCH PREVIEW: Team /S VS Another Grey Team

Our sticky-legged crampster returns to HAUNT opponents!!!

Good day folks. Today we present to you the match preview of the clash between Team /S and Another Grey Team. Team /S will be looking for their first win after 1 loss and 1 draw. The loss was against the Koreans who exploited the 'rolling sub' rule and the draw was especially heartbreaking as the equaliser came just 5 seconds before the final whistle and denied Team /S their first ever clean sheet. At press time, Team /S seem to have a shortage of strikers.Once again,we are proud to have with us football experts Toeharee Paijand and Samy Best to express their views on the match.

/S Tabloid:'So, Mr.Paijand, what are the chances of /S in this game?'
TP: 'Well, I think it all boils down to the defence. I'm not trying to put any pressure on them but you've gotta agree with me that every successful team needs a confident defence. This confidence would creep into the rest of the team and confidence plays a big part in football. I noticed in the last game that their keeper, that ACS(I) number 1, is being more vocal and that guy with 3 -censored- , Jay-Jay Tits, was magnificent in defence. He was commanding and shouting instructions to his team-mates.'
John Zheng:'Aiyah, Tits wayang lah.'
TP:'No,no. I believe organisation is very important and the only way is through communication.'

/ST:'Mr. Best, what are your views?'
SB:'Aiyoh, why bother about defence man. In my days, we would just gelek here, gelek there and humiliate our opponents. Opponents score, so what? We'll just score more than them.'
Travers Tan:' Let me play striker. Opponent score how many, I'll score double'
SB:' That's the spirit I'm talking about man. Look at this fine young lad, full of confidence and self-belief.'
/ST:'Err..ok. What about the return of junxiang? Do you think his training tour of Japan would help him improve?'
SB:'Japan? He go there train what sial.*cheeky smile*'
TP:'As long as he stretches for an hour beforehand, he won't get cramps. I have full confdence in junxiang. You want gelek? He's da man.He got sticky legs. He just needs to do it in the opponents' penalty area and not in our own half.'
SB:'Don't waste so much time talking cock lah, /S sure win. Bloody hell, grey is how ugly. That team already lose out in the fashion department liao.'

And that's all for today. As we saw in the previous match, Team /S has the abilty to defend and hopes of a clean sheet are higher than ever before.On the other hand, the win-lose-win-lose prophecy has been broken. Will /S clean up their act and finish with confidence? Can they achieve their ultimate aim of keeping a first-ever clean sheet? Bear with us as we anticipate this exciting clash between the ALL BLACKS and the oh-so-ugly greys.

Paijand's XI:

Yuda

Navin Ky Tim Foong

Jx

Seah John Raymond

Tits
Kerk

'No striker? Just put yuda. Confirm outrun the whole team.'

Best's XI:

Kerk Yuda

Seah Navin Ky Jx Tim Foong Raymond

John

Tits
'Put tits keeper lah. We need kerk's finishing upfront to supplement yuda's creativity. Pack the midfield n choke the opponents. John can handle the defence by himself. At the most tits act as sweeper lor.'

How we intend to defend: Get the ball at all cost. (macam adidas F50 advert: GIMME THE BALL!)

From cultured winger to playmaker/dogfighter?

"I believe with my physique and aggressiveness, i will be a prominent ball-winner for team /S!"


Yes folks, it is true. Our cultured winger has requested to be deployed in the centre of the park where he can exert a greater influence on the team. But will his request be a boon or a bane for team /S?

Our resident football analyst Toeharee Paijand agrees: 'Yes, yes and yes. I totally agree with his plea. Lester Chng would fit comfortably into the central midfield of any team in the world. With his size and aggression, he would scare the living daylights out of any potential matchwinners.'

Mr. Paijand remembers vividly Lester's last game for team /S before he went on his training stint in Western Australia: 'There was this technically gifted indian fella by the name of Saha, but his confidence was reduced to shreds when Lester taunted him by saying, "TOO SLOW SAHA, TOO SLOW!!!"...Then there was this rising star who outran Chng only to the warcry of "I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR LEGS!" This not only slowed the starlet down but took away all his self-belief. As if all that wasn't enough, Chng grabbed another starlet and wrestled him to the ground (2 rolls was it?) to the amazement of his team-mates. As you can see, the agression in this fella can take Team /S to greater heights, making him an ideal dogfighter in the mould of Roy Keane and Gennaro Gattuso.

'I'm not finished with Chng yet. Lester could be the missing piece in Team /S's jigsaw. His acceleration is unrivalled and this could be vital in Team /S's counter-attacks. This is why I believe that he adds an extra dimension to the engine room of Team /S where he can also serve as playmaker.'

However, football legend Muthusamy Best aka Samy Best begs to differ. Best was well known for his goreng pisang corner kicks in the 1970s. Said Best: 'Lester playing in the middle? Stop kidding me lah. I don't think that fella can last 30 minutes playing there. And I'm not even questioning his stamina. Did you catch his game in Australia? He got sent off within 10 minutes! Jialat sial. He could start a fight if he was all alone in a room! What's that acceleration that you're talking about? All that wining and dining in Australia can only slow him down. Throw him to the wings, I say. That's where he made his name and that's where he belongs.'

There you have it, the expert analysis of two footballing geniuses. So will he or won't he be placed in the middle? Stay tuned to find out...

Characters mentioned in this article are purely fictional. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. T_T

/S Soccer Update!

As Team /S progresses nearer to the league competition...transfer rumours surround our latest MoM and our current top scorer Poon King Yau.....what could this spell for Team /S......
But well... keep up the good voting =). By far the most realistic and enthusiastic poll lolx.

Team /S Wins 4 Draws 1 Losses 4 GF 24 GA 19

Kingyau Goals 6 MoM 2
Francis Goals 4 MoM 2
Yuda Goals 3 MoM 1
Kenny Goals 2 MoM 1
John Goals 1 MoM 1
Travers Goals 3
Foong Goals 1
Junyi Goals 1
Vincent Goals 1
Choo Goals 1
Shawn Goals 1
Aozhi MoM 1
Kerk MoM 1